Opportunities for ministry often arise within the context of relationships. A person rarely ever reveals deep, personal problems to a stranger.
It may be years before a friend feels comfortable enough to confide in you about some of his or her deepest needs. For this reason, it is vital to stay open to the relationship. Nurture and strengthen the relationship. He or she may even try to push you away, but in some cases, you may need to adopt the posture of Ruth when Naomi tried to get rid of her:
“May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!”—Ruth 1:17b (NLT)
This doesn’t mean that you turn people into projects. You’ll be most effective if you have no agenda but relationship. Just be there! If people believe that you will always be there for them if they need something, they will be much more inclined to share their real problems with you. Then you will be positioned to share God’s answers with them when the time is right.
Go the Extra Mile
Go the extra mile. Intentionally look for ways to go beyond what is expected in showing love to people. Send a note. Send a card on a day other than a birthday. Spend time with them. Make yourself available for them. Give them a call. Point out qualities that you admire about them. Buy a book for them, and write encouraging words to them inside the cover. Send them flowers. Tell them when you are thinking of them and praying for them. Remind them of good memories you have of them.
Set Your Boundaries
Sometimes, when you get more involved in the lives of those around you, they may try to take advantage of your kindness. There may be situations in which you feel you are being used by people to further their own personal agendas. If these situations threaten to prevent you from fulfilling your responsibilities to God, yourself, or others, you may have to set firm boundaries to protect yourself from inappropriate attempts to use or abuse you. If people do not place appropriate boundaries on themselves in their dealings with you, then you may need to set boundaries for them.
For example, one of my favorite places to minister to people is at a train station. But when other believers come with me, I advise them not to bring any money with them. Then when someone at the train station asks for a handout, it will be easier to redirect the conversation to the person’s real needs. Peter demonstrated this with the man at the Beautiful gate of the temple:
“But Peter said, ‘I have no silver or gold, but what I have I give you; in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, stand up and walk.’”—Acts 3:6 (NRSV)
Giving the man money would have insured that his situation would not change. Healing him from his crippled condition met his real need and changed his life forever.
Jesus had to constantly protect Himself and His ministry from those who would steer it off-track, intentionally or unintentionally:
“But Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because He knew all men, and had no need that anyone should testify of man, for He knew what was in man.”—John 2:24–25 (NKJV)
Nehemiah also was quick to discern and reject attempts to distract him from the real purpose of his life:
“So I sent messengers to them, saying, ‘I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Why should the work stop while I leave it to come down to you?’”—Nehemiah 6:3 (NRSV)
Not Open to Jesus
Many people are not open to even talk about Jesus. They may be atheists, agnostics, or they may hold different religious beliefs. There may be many reasons they are not open.
In these cases, it typically does no good to force the issues of Jesus, the Bible, or salvation on people with this mind-set. Most likely, the Father is not drawing them yet.
“No one is able to come to Me [Jesus] unless the Father Who sent Me attracts and draws him and gives him the desire to come to Me…”—John 6:44 (AMP)
The best approach here, rather than forcing conversations about Jesus, may be to cooperate with God by praying that the Father would draw them to Jesus. Nurture the relationships with them. Be there for them. As you pray, God may allow problems or needs to come into their lives. These problems or needs may be the very things that motivate them to look beyond themselves for help. When these friends, acquaintances, or family members come to you for help with their problems, then you may have opportunities to share God’s solutions to meet their needs.
If you don’t have the answers to their problems, don’t dismiss them. God has the answers. Ask Him. Then be alert to recognize the answers when they come.
“Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”—Matthew 7:7-8 (NRSV)
Skeptical but Open
Some people are skeptical about Jesus, but they may express some curiosity or interest in knowing more about Him. In these situations, it may be best to answer their questions fully, explaining things as clearly as you can in a very straightforward manner without trying to “push” them in any particular direction.
If you don’t have all the answers to their questions, admit it honestly. Tough questions may be asked to test you. Will you make something up, playing the part of a know-it-all, or will you honestly admit that you don’t have all the answers? Skeptics aren’t looking for a know-it-all. They’re looking for a genuinely honest Christian—someone who lives the faith he professes.
The person asking you questions is trying to gather information in order to make a decision that will have eternal consequences for him or her. Be honest. Be straightforward. Be real.
But also be careful. Don’t do anything to damage the relationship if possible. Do not offend needlessly. Do not push! Do not expect an instant decision from him or her.
Jesus allowed Peter and the other disciples to follow Him for months before He finally asked them what they thought of Him (See Matthew 16:13-17). Don’t the people you encounter deserve the same consideration? After all, the decision to follow Christ is a lot more important than choosing a college or choosing a career, and those decisions can take years for some people!
Expanding Your Influence
As you are faithful to learn how to respond appropriately to the individuals who cross your path, God will expand your influence to other groups of people: other Christian denominations, other religions, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, New Agers, Occultists, atheists, and even your family members.
That’s been my experience.
