Bitterness is often the first consequence of resisting God’s grace and rejecting His signals. There may be many other harmful attitudes and consequences that spring from that, but bitterness is usually the root.
This was the condition of Simon, even after he believed and was baptized, as Peter correctly discerned:
“You have no part or share in what we’re saying, because your heart isn’t right with God. So repent of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that, if possible, your heart’s intent may be forgiven you. For I see that you’re being poisoned by bitterness and you’re a prisoner of wickedness!”—Acts 8:21-23 (ISV)
It is important to realize that Simon was a believer when Peter said these things to him. We cannot assume that we are free of bitterness just because we may believe in Jesus. Simon was a Christian, but he still needed to deal with the wickedness in his heart. So do we. Just as Simon did, we need to repent and take steps that God gives us in the Bible to resolve the bitterness that is caused by a refusal to forgive our offenders.
Believing a Lie
Many of us become bitter towards God when we believe the lie that He does not act in our best interests. Bitterness can take root in our hearts if we believe that God has been mistreating us or holding back on us, not allowing us to enjoy the best things of life, or not protecting us (or those we care about) from being hurt. In our hearts, we may harbor bitterness towards God, blaming Him for the offenses we have suffered.
As Job’s wife said, “Are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God and die.” (Job 2:9 NLT)
When we believe lies, those lies lead us into sin. We have to believe a lie before we can commit any sin intentionally. That is why the serpent in the Garden of Eden had to persuade Eve to believe a lie before she would taste the forbidden fruit.
Intentional sin is always the result of believing the lie that there is something good for us apart from God and His guidelines.
Most people (including Christians) who live with a root of bitterness do not believe they are bitter.
Deception is at the heart of every sin, every bad habit, and every addiction. With every sin comes deception. We cannot sin intentionally without believing a lie.
There is a very insightful book from the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) called How to Resolve 7 Deadly Stresses. In this book, the authors describe how we bring stress into our lives unnecessarily through believing lies. They focus on the seven basic stresses which they define as anger, guilt, lust, bitterness, greed, fear, and envy, and they describe how we invite these stresses into our lives by the lies that we believe.
Even when our deception leads us into bitterness, we often do not believe that we are bitter. Instead, we tell ourselves and others that:
“I am just deeply hurt.”
“I resent what they did.”
“Offenders are repulsive to me. “
“I can’t forgive what they did.”
“I keep reliving their hurts.”
“Any reminder reopens wounds.”
“I hope they suffer like I do.”
“What happened was not fair.”
“I can’t trust God anymore.”
In our bitterness,
Our speech may become harsh.
We may cut people out of our lives.
We may become very easily offended.
We may quickly jump to conclusions.
We may react violently to hurts.
We may become extremely judgmental.
We may take up offenses for others.
Our facial features may appear hard.
We may even have suicidal thoughts. (IBLP, p.93)
Health Problems
Bitterness has to be dealt with and resolved because bitterness alone can separate us from God and His goodness.
“But your wickedness has separated you from your God, And your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.”—Isaiah 59:2 (AMP)
Matthew 18:34 describes how we are delivered up to the “tormentors” in life when we refuse to forgive those who have offended us.
As Bill Gothard describes in his Basic Seminar, these tormentors often include emotional and mental health problems such as depression, disillusionment, and suicidal thoughts.
Bitterness is the underlying cause of many physical health problems as well. This is thoroughly documented in the publications of Dr. Henry W. Wright, Dr. Art Mathias, and many others.
Years ago, a Vietnam War veteran came to our ministry team at a secular festival because he wanted to be healed of crippling arthritis. As I prayed for this man to be healed, I had a vision in which I saw the word “BITTERNESS” like a banner over him.
I realized that the bitterness in his heart must be resolved before he could be healed. That was the key to this man’s healing.
I stopped praying and asked him, “Is there someone who offended you in the past? Is there someone you need to forgive?”
It was then that he reveled to us that he had been in Vietnam during the war. As he started to tell us more, the memories evidently came flooding back, and he broke down into sobbing. He was never able to tell us what had offended him so deeply.
Sadly, he could not bring himself to forgive his offender, and he walked away from us still plagued by the tormentors, which in his case included crippling arthritis.
It all seemed so needless; so unnecessary. I felt sure that if he could only bring himself to forgive his offenders, then he would be free of the tormentors which had caused so much suffering in his life for so many years. If he had only been able to forgive his offenders, the arthritis might have cleared up on its own.
In their book, How to Resolve 7 Deadly Stresses, the authors describe how bitterness can cause a variety of health problems including ulcers, gallstones, and liver problems. Bitterness seems to particularly affect the digestive system and can contribute to food sensitivities, inflammatory diseases, autoimmune diseases, and obesity.
Bitterness can even upset the balance of hormones in a woman’s body, hindering conception. After Michal became offended by her husband’s dancing before the Lord, she became unable to have children, as we are told in 2 Samuel 6:16-23.
A Bitter Root Produces Bitter Fruit
Bitterness is the root of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
A bitter root produces bitter fruit. Bitterness poisons relationships.
One of the characteristics of a person with a root of bitterness is that they become a tree of knowledge of good and evil, meticulously storing detailed mental records of offenses committed against them.
It can be difficult to be involved in a friendship or any relationship with a person living with a root of bitterness because you will be living under constant evaluation. These relationships are based on a knowledge of good and evil, and so your worthiness of love and acceptance is determined by what you have done. Good and bad actions are mentally recorded and filed away in memories that can be recalled instantly. You are always being judged. Conflict is almost inevitable. Proverbs 21:9 speaks of this kind of relationship:
“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop [on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather] than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, and faultfinding woman.” (AMPC)
Being in any relationship with a person who lives from a root of bitterness is a no-win situation. A person with a root of bitterness often places themselves in a position above the throne of God, as a self-appointed judge. You will only be accepted or loved conditionally … until you make a mistake. But leaving the relationship may not be the answer. God may have brought you into this person’s life to intercede on their behalf and to help them find freedom from their crippling bitterness.
In contrast, it can be a constant delight to be involved in a relationship with a person whose life is rooted in love. This person is motivated to do what is in *your *best interests, regardless of your actions. In fact, friends and enemies are all treated the same way by such a person. A person rooted in love always gives of themselves to benefit the receiver regardless of how they are treated in return.
People with a root of bitterness tend to rehearse the details of their offenses over and over, reliving in their minds the detailed actions of their offenders and becoming more and more angry, vengeful, and focused on the offenses of others.
Meal times become times of complaining and spewing the poisonous venom of bitterness on family members, friends, and colleagues as offenses are rehashed repeatedly to emphasize the offensive qualities of the offenders and their actions.
We are warned about the corrupting nature of bitterness in Hebrews 12:15:
“Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you,** corrupting many.”**—Hebrews 12:15 (NLT)
As the vicious poison of bitterness is spewed out on our children, they are also defiled by our bitterness and conditioned to take up offenses and become children of bitterness themselves, as Jesus said,
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.”—Matthew 23:15 (NIV)
In contrast, a person who is rooted and grounded in love keeps no record of past offenses, as we are told in 1 Corinthians 13:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” (NIV)
Someone who is rooted in love may remember that people offended them (or offended people close to them) in the past, but they have fully forgiven their offenders, as Jesus commanded us to do, so that there is no longer any pain associated with those memories. People rooted in love are happy to show love to their enemies, bless their offenders, and pray for them, as Jesus commanded us to do in His Sermon on the Mount. (Matthew 5:44; Romans 12:14)
When we are rooted and grounded in love, we may remember offenses, but there is no pain attached to them. That has all been healed. We are able to express gratefulness, even for our offenses and past hurts because we understand that God is using even those times of suffering to prepare us and propel us into our future. We realize that without those painful events in our past, we would not be fully prepared for our future purposes in life.
As God said to Paul Keith Davis, “The pain of your past was the preparation for your future.”
When we truly see things from God’s point of view, the negative feelings are replaced by sincere gratefulness and a desire to make sure that our sufferings are not wasted. Then we are free to use those sufferings to inform and expand our positive influence to our offenders and to others that we might not have had any opportunity to impact before in such a positive way.
Chuck Colson used his time in prison to enter into a new purpose in life. Instead of giving in to bitterness, he looked for a way to help meet the needs of his fellow prisoners. Now the organization that he founded—Prison Fellowship International—is the largest ministry to prisoners and their families in the world!
Chuck Colson is one person who will surely hear the Lord say to him, “Well done… I was in prison and you visited me.” (See Matthew 25:31-46.)
References:
Chuck Colson - founder of Prison Fellowship. Prison Fellowship. (2022, April 20). https://www.prisonfellowship.org/about/chuck-colson/
Gothard, B. Basic Seminar. https://basicseminar.com/
Honoring Dr Henry - Be in Health. (2021, July 29). https://www.beinhealth.com/honoring-dr-henry/
How to Resolve 7 Deadly Stresses and Discover Five Causes of All Diseases: Powerful Truths that Transcend All Cultures, Nationalities, Religions, and Political Systems. (2008). Institute in Basic Life Principles, Inc.
Wellspring Ministries. (n.d.). https://www.akwellspring.com/
