For ministry purposes, if we really want to make a difference, we’ve got to change the way we interact with people. Instead of our focus being to talk about ourselves and communicate what is important to us, we’ve got to switch our focus to meeting the needs of the other person, regardless of whether or not they ever appreciate us, understand us, or even hear our personal stories.
In other words, we’ve got to completely switch our communication style from being a talker to being a listener.
In order to be a listener, the other person needs to be allowed and encouraged to do the talking. If we find ourselves in a ministry encounter, and we are doing most of the talking, that usually means that it is not going the way that God intended. There are exceptions to this. Some people are very shy, and they may feel more comfortable at first if someone else does the talking, but in general, the rule is: Listen more. Talk less.
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”—James 1:19 (NIV)
Excessive talking can be a sign of 2 things: selfishness (lack of love) and lack of wisdom.
“Those who talk a lot are likely to sin. But those who control their tongues are wise.”—Proverbs 10:19 (NIRV)
“He who restrains his words has knowledge, And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.”—Proverbs 17:27-28 (NASB)
Peter emphasized this when he cautioned wives not to make the mistake of trying to nag their unsaved husbands into Heaven. In wisdom, he counseled them to say nothing to try to persuade their husbands to accept Christ, but instead to demonstrate the truth and love of Christ through their actions.
* “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”—1 Peter 3:1-4 (ESV)*
When we examine the ministry encounters of Jesus with individuals, we see that his communication technique was consistent. He did not speak excessively. He did not waste words. When Jesus did speak, every word was important. Each word had purpose and meaning. In fact, He probably spoke much less than most other ministers and evangelists since then, but He accomplished much more! (John 21:25)
