We often put up barriers in our own thinking that hinder us from forgiving our offenders. Of course, Satan is happy with this, and he reinforces this resistance in hopes of preventing us from fully forgiving people from our hearts and finding freedom from bitterness.
Forgiveness Has No Limits
With some people, we may get to a point where we think, “Enough is enough! They are taking advantage of my forgiveness!”
“They have lied to me too many times!” “They have cheated me too many times!” “They have hurt me too many times!” “They have offended me too many times!”
Jesus addressed those situations when people offend us over and over again, and nothing seems to change.
“Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? [As many as] up to seven times?
“Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven!”—Matthew 18:21-22 (AMPC)
There may be people in our lives who seem to offend us repeatedly without expressing any remorse; without making any apologies; and without making any efforts to correct their behavior.
God’s forgiveness to us has no limits. People may test us severely, but have they tested us more than they test the patience of God? No. Just as God’s forgiveness has no limits, our forgiveness to others must have no limits also.
After all, how many times has God forgiven you? Would you want Him to put any limits on His forgiveness to you?
**“**For You, O Lord, are good, and ready to forgive [our sins, sending them away, completely letting them go forever and ever]; And abundant in lovingkindness and overflowing in mercy to all those who call upon You.”—Psalm 86:5 (AMP)
“People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway.” —Kent M. Keith
Use Memories as Ongoing Signals
Memories of past offenses are valuable signals. If we remember past offenses, and these memories are accompanied by pain, anger, or any negative feelings, then these can be signals that our forgiveness is not complete.
We may think that we have already dealt with these issues, but if the memories keep coming back to us accompanied by pain, anger or any negative feelings, then there is still some unresolved resentment or bitterness that needs to be addressed.
God graciously brings these past offenses back to our remembrance until we fully forgive those who offended us.
“When you are praying, and you remember that you are angry with another person about something, then forgive him. If you do this, then your Father in heaven will also forgive your sins.” [But if you don’t forgive other people, then your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins.]”—Mark 11:25-26 (ICB)
When we have fully forgiven our offenders, we may still remember their offenses, but there will be no pain or anger attached to those memories. In fact, we should be able to see benefits in those offenses and thank God for them, just as Joseph saw benefits in the offenses of his brothers.
“You meant to hurt me. But God turned your evil into good.”—Genesis 50:20 (ICB)
When we finally forgive fully, from our hearts, we will be able to look at our offenders with genuine love, not wishing them any harm at all. Instead, we will be motivated to give into their lives to meet their needs and seek what is best for them.
“Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”—Philippians 2:4 (AMP)
In our minds, we will have completely separated the offenses from the offender when our forgiveness is complete.
“As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.”—Psalm 103:12 (AMP)
Taking Up Offenses for Others
One of the hardest things for us to do is to forgive someone who has offended someone close to us. It can be very difficult to forgive someone who has offended a family member or close friend.
If someone offends my mother, my brother, or my best friend, it is often harder to forgive those offenses than it is to forgive personal offenses that I have suffered.
Bill Gothard explains that it is because God does not give us grace to forgive offenses against others, because really, that is none of our business. Forgiveness is between the offended person and his offenders. God gives abundant grace to those involved in the offense to forgive and to reconcile their relationships.
But if I take it upon myself to get involved in an offense that did not directly affect me, God does not give me the same grace to help enable me to forgive.
In Psalm 15:3, there is a list of the characteristics of those people who will live closest to God. There are some things that those who will be closest to God will not do. One of those things is that they will not get involved in taking up offenses against others.
“… nor takes up a reproach against his neighbor”—Psalm 15:3 (AMPC)
We have enough trouble just dealing with our own offenses! Thankfully, God gives us grace to help us to forgive our own offenders, but if we go beyond our own offenses and take up the offenses of others, becoming offended and angry on their behalf, there is no grace provided by God to deal with that.
It can be a real trap to take up offenses for others and allow ourselves to become angry, bitter, and resentful on their behalf. We may find ourselves wrestling with that bitterness years after the people who were actually offended have forgiven their offenders and moved on!
Knowing this, it is very important for us to be very careful about sharing our offenses with people who are not part of the problem, because we could actually be inviting them into a trap that could enslave them to the harmful consequences of bitterness for years.
Jesus modeled this for us. He knew that His Father God saw every unjust, cruel act that was inflicted upon Him as He was dying on the cross. As He was dying, Jesus prayed earnestly that His Father would not hold these offenses against the people who were killing him.
“Jesus kept saying, ‘Father, forgive them, because they don’t know what they’re doing.’”—Luke 23:34 (ISV)
Demonic Strongholds
When we give ourselves over to any sin, at some point, we come into such agreement with the desires of devils that we give them an open door to come into our lives and join us in our sinful pursuits.
“But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions).
“Then the evil desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death.”—James 1:14-15 (AMPC)
We see this clearly in the life of Judas Iscariot. Being close to Jesus did not save him from having Satan enter into him. In fact, Judas was in the same room with Jesus, attending the Last Supper, when Satan took advantage of the open door that Judas offered him and entered into Judas.
When Jesus realized that Judas had given himself over to his sinful plans of betrayal, Jesus told him, “What you are going to do, do quickly [without delay]” (John 13:27 AMP). At that point, there seemed to me no talking Judas out of what he had determined in his heart to do.
When Satan entered into Judas, it seemed to shorten his life expectancy drastically, and he died prematurely just a short time later, fulfilling the progression of sin that is described to us in James 1:14-15.
Unforgiveness can be one of the most stubborn sins to overcome. In some cases, we may not be able to overcome it on our own so that we can finally forgive our offenders fully, from our hearts. We may need help. This is more likely to be the case if we have given ourselves over to our anger and bitterness, as Judas gave himself over to his sin.
It could be very likely that you need help overcoming your unforgiveness because you opened your life to spirits of bitterness, wrath, and anger in the past. You may need to seek out help to be delivered of those dark spirits that are pushing you to continue in your unforgiveness.
This is nothing to be ashamed of. Most Christians probably need to be delivered of demonic influences at some point in their lives. Some of those who became the closest friends of Jesus needed to go through deliverance to be freed of dark spirits that were holding them back from God’s best.
“After this, Jesus traveled around from one town and village to another. He announced the good news of God’s kingdom. His 12 disciples were with him. So were some women who had been healed of evil spirits and sicknesses. One was Mary Magdalene. Seven demons had come out of her. Another was Joanna, the wife of Chuza. He was the manager of Herod’s household. Susanna and many others were there also. These women were helping to support Jesus and the 12 disciples with their own money.”—Luke 8:1-3 (NIRV)
In fact, after Mary Magdalene had been delivered of seven evils spirits, she was given the very special privilege of being the very first person that Jesus appeared to after He rose from the dead.
“Now Jesus, having risen [from death] early on the first day of the week, appeared first to Mary Magdalene, from whom He had driven out seven demons.”—Mark 16:9 (AMPC)
If you are involved with a church that helps people find freedom from demonic influences, than you can go to them and request help.
If not, there are some excellent ministries in many countries that you can turn to for help to find freedom from demonic influences. One of these most trusted ministries is Elijah House. You can reach them through their website at elijahhouse.org.
**References: **
Elijah House USA: Inner healing and prayer ministry. Elijah House. https://elijahhouse.org/
Gothard, B. Basic Seminar Session 07: Dealing with Hurts / Keys to Forgiveness. Basic Seminar. https://basicseminar.com/session/basic-seminar-session-07-dealing-with-hurts-keys-to-forgiveness/
